The Secure Husband

The Fearful Avoidant Husband's Three Options (FA Podcast Series)

The fearful avoidant husband can feel trapped between two powerful thoughts: “I want to save my marriage” and “I cannot live like this forever.” In this episode of The S

The Fearful Avoidant Husband (FA Podcast Series)

About 90% of the men I work with are fearful avoidant.  What does that mean? In this first episode of The Fearful Avoidant Husband Podcast Series, Bruce Abbott looks at

Disapproval Equals Danger (Shame Podcast Series)

Why does someone being upset with you feel so uncomfortable? For many people with anxious attachment, disapproval can feel like danger. Your wife gets irritated, your bo

Dude, I'm Not A Failure As A Husband (Shame Podcast Series)

I recently received a comment on my podcast about shame. "Dude, I'm not a failure as a Husband.  It's her avoidance." What if you know you are a good husband? What if y

Bringing Shame Out of the Darkness (Shame Podcast Series)

Shame grows in secrecy. It tells you that if people really knew you, they might reject you, judge you, or stop loving you. In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast,

I Shouldn’t Have to Ask (Shame Podcast Series)

“I shouldn’t have to ask.” I shouldn’t have to ask my wife for affection. I shouldn’t have to ask her to initiate sex. I shouldn’t have to ask to feel wanted. Those fee

The Shame Beneath Anxious Attachment in Marriage (Shame Podcast Series)

Anxious attachment in marriage is often explained as a fear of abandonment or rejection. But there may be something deeper underneath that fear: shame. A husband with an

What Does Shame Have To Do With A Sexless Marriage? (Shame Podcast Series)

What does shame have to do with a sexless marriage? More than most husbands realize. Repeated sexual rejection can slowly change from “My wife does not want sex” into “M

Shame - The Voice That Says Something Is Wrong With Me (Shame Podcast Series)

Shame often hides underneath anxious attachment, fear of rejection, people pleasing, anger, defensiveness, and relationship anxiety. You may never think, “I feel shame.”

Ending The Marriage Must Be An Option On The Table (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

How do you know when it is time to stop trying to save your marriage? That is one of the hardest questions a husband can face. In this final episode of The Invisible Ma

Roommates With Wedding Rings (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Do you and your wife feel more like roommates than husband and wife? In this episode of The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series, Bruce Abbott talks about what happens when

Secure Communication vs. Fake Confidence and Begging (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

There is a big difference between saying, "This matters to me," and desperately trying to convince your wife that it should matter to her. In this episode of The Invisib

Stop Becoming Small In Your Marriage (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Have you stopped speaking up in your marriage? Have you stopped asking for what you want because it feels easier to stay quiet? In this episode of The Invisible Marriage

The Slow Fade (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Most marriages do not become distant overnight. They fade slowly. The long talks become short updates. Touch becomes rare. Date nights turn into conversations about kids,

Married...But Emotionally Alone (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

PASTE COPY You can share a home, raise children, pay bills, and sleep in the same bed while still feeling completely alone in your marriage. In this first episode of Th

"I Never Want Sex Again. Deal With It" (Sex and The Dismissive Avoidant Wife Podcast Series)

What should a husband do when his wife says, “I never want sex again. Deal with it”? This statement can create fear, anger, grief, and deep confusion. It can also force a

Can a Dismissive Avoidant Wife Become More Sexual Toward Me? (Sex and the Dismissive Wife Podcast Series)

Can a dismissive avoidant wife become more sexual, affectionate, and open to intimacy? Many husbands ask this question after years of rejection, distance, and little sexu

She's Still Sexual...Just Not With Me. (Sex and the Dismissive Wife Podcast Series)

Does your wife seem playful, warm, or even sexual with other people, but distant with you? Many husbands in a sexless marriage start to believe one painful story: “She st

Low Libido or Dismissive Avoidant Attachment? (Sex and the Dismissive Wife Podcast Series)

Is your wife dealing with low libido, dismissive avoidant attachment, or both? Many husbands assume these are the same thing, but they are very different. In this episode

"All You Think About Is Sex" (Sex and The Dismissive Avoidant Wife Podcast Series)

Have you ever told your wife you miss being close to her, only to hear, "All you think about is sex"? That statement can be one of the most painful things a husband hears