The Secure Husband

The False Narrative (The Stories We Tell Ourselves Podcast Series)

What if some of the things you believe about yourself, your wife, and your marriage aren't actually true? "I'm not good enough." "My wife doesn't want me." "If she lov

Why Fearful Avoidants Reach In Then Pull Away (FA Podcast Series)

Why does a fearful avoidant husband reach for affection, sex, or emotional connection, only to pull away when he feels rejected? You want to feel close to your wife. You

Critique Feels Like Rejection To The Fearful Avoidant (FA Podcast Series)

Why does critique from your wife feel like rejection, even when she is simply asking you to change something? For a fearful avoidant husband, a small complaint can trigg

The Dismissive Avoidant and The Fearful Avoidant Cycle (FA Podcast Series)

Why does a fearful avoidant husband keep chasing connection while his dismissive avoidant wife keeps pulling away? And why can two people who love each other end up feeli

How Did You Become Fearful Avoidant? (FA Podcast Series)

How does a man develop fearful avoidant attachment, and why do childhood experiences affect his marriage decades later? In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Br

The Fearful Avoidant Husband's Three Options (FA Podcast Series)

The fearful avoidant husband can feel trapped between two powerful thoughts: “I want to save my marriage” and “I cannot live like this forever.” In this episode of The S

The Fearful Avoidant Husband (FA Podcast Series)

About 90% of the men I work with are fearful avoidant.  What does that mean? In this first episode of The Fearful Avoidant Husband Podcast Series, Bruce Abbott looks at

Disapproval Equals Danger (Shame Podcast Series)

Why does someone being upset with you feel so uncomfortable? For many people with anxious attachment, disapproval can feel like danger. Your wife gets irritated, your bo

Dude, I'm Not A Failure As A Husband (Shame Podcast Series)

I recently received a comment on my podcast about shame. "Dude, I'm not a failure as a Husband.  It's her avoidance." What if you know you are a good husband? What if y

Bringing Shame Out of the Darkness (Shame Podcast Series)

Shame grows in secrecy. It tells you that if people really knew you, they might reject you, judge you, or stop loving you. In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast,

I Shouldn’t Have to Ask (Shame Podcast Series)

“I shouldn’t have to ask.” I shouldn’t have to ask my wife for affection. I shouldn’t have to ask her to initiate sex. I shouldn’t have to ask to feel wanted. Those fee

The Shame Beneath Anxious Attachment in Marriage (Shame Podcast Series)

Anxious attachment in marriage is often explained as a fear of abandonment or rejection. But there may be something deeper underneath that fear: shame. A husband with an

What Does Shame Have To Do With A Sexless Marriage? (Shame Podcast Series)

What does shame have to do with a sexless marriage? More than most husbands realize. Repeated sexual rejection can slowly change from “My wife does not want sex” into “M

Shame - The Voice That Says Something Is Wrong With Me (Shame Podcast Series)

Shame often hides underneath anxious attachment, fear of rejection, people pleasing, anger, defensiveness, and relationship anxiety. You may never think, “I feel shame.”

Ending The Marriage Must Be An Option On The Table (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

How do you know when it is time to stop trying to save your marriage? That is one of the hardest questions a husband can face. In this final episode of The Invisible Ma

Roommates With Wedding Rings (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Do you and your wife feel more like roommates than husband and wife? In this episode of The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series, Bruce Abbott talks about what happens when

Secure Communication vs. Fake Confidence and Begging (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

There is a big difference between saying, "This matters to me," and desperately trying to convince your wife that it should matter to her. In this episode of The Invisib

Stop Becoming Small In Your Marriage (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Have you stopped speaking up in your marriage? Have you stopped asking for what you want because it feels easier to stay quiet? In this episode of The Invisible Marriage

The Slow Fade (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

Most marriages do not become distant overnight. They fade slowly. The long talks become short updates. Touch becomes rare. Date nights turn into conversations about kids,

Married...But Emotionally Alone (The Invisible Marriage Podcast Series)

PASTE COPY You can share a home, raise children, pay bills, and sleep in the same bed while still feeling completely alone in your marriage. In this first episode of Th