Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

The Effect of Emotional Dependency on Our Communication

Thom’s Nutshell: Perfectionism and Procrastination are old friends – they go way back. What is emotional dependency? What does that look like, and how can it corrode ou

The Unicycle Committee with Richard Rohr

Thom’s Nutshell: Emotional Sobriety is like riding a unicycle. Allen shares some special interactions he had with Father Richard Rohr, and Thom returns to the show to t

Don’t Let Anyone Edit Your Reality

Thom’s Nutshell: Be realistic about rejection. Don’t take things personally! Staying in equanimity, being less reactive are some primary goals of emotional sobriety. We

Responsibility Over Blame

Thom’s Nutshell: Serious condition: I’ll be okay as soon as that thing that happened to me didn’t happen to me. There’s a difference between blame and responsibility. B

“Waking Up Is a Process” with Daniel Fulop-Furlano

Thom’s Nutshell: "Self-denial results in dependence. Self-acceptance creates independence." Waking up is a process, not an event. A road back to our true lost selves.

Learning to Live and Love Differently

Thom’s Nutshell: "Are you solving the problems you want to solve, or the problems you think you are supposed to solve?" With emotional sobriety comes a commitment to be

Living in the Pause

Thom’s Nutshell: Challenge your low self esteem and surprise yourself (I did). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which was developed in the 60’s by Aaron Beck, dovetai

Responsibility “To” Others, Not “For” Them

Thom’s Nutshell: Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have no impact in this world of ours. You do. Whether from a pebble or a giant rock, we’re all leaving ripples

Can We Be Actively Indifferent?

Thom’s Nutshell: The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. Seeking truth through withho

Demands Versus Preferences

Thom’s Nutshell: If you measure your well being according to how others treat you, you are choosing a life over which you have no control. This is voluntary victimizati

Positive Opportunism & Benevolent Manipulation

Thom’s Nutshell: Look for the benefit in all situations - practice positive opportunism. In another passage from Joe C.’s Beyond Belief, Allen ties our daily reflectio

Out of the Hurt Locker

Thom’s Nutshell: We all have opinions. We all prefer certain outcomes. But attaching expectations to them is a choice. Disappointed? Upset? Devastated? Check your expect

Let It Be (With Joe C.)

Thom’s Nutshell: Rather than praying for circumstances to change, pray for the strength and wisdom to face those circumstances. “This shouldn’t be happening!” Well, it

The Five Points of Balance, Part Two

Thom’s Nutshell: Ignoring our own dark potential only makes it stronger. Avoid washing dishes and there are not only more of them, they are also harder to clean. The dif

The Five Points of Balance, Part One

Thom’s Nutshell: “The promise of perfection is a red herring. Don't be distracted from your pursuit of learning and improving.” Patrick celebrates eight years of sobrie

It’s Not About Just Waking Up, It’s About Growing Up

Thom’s Nutshell: “Recipe for peace of mind: KNOW what you believe. KNOW what is important. KNOW what is within your control. LIVE congruently with what you believe.”

Made a Searching & Fearless Moral Inventory (Of Someone Else)

Thom’s Nutshell: Step 16: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of someone else. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. They told me to stop at 12. “Taking others’ invent

We Are More Capable Than We Realize

Thom’s Nutshell: "Live this moment as if you chose it. Might as well. And maybe you did." Give yourself permission to doubt. Give yourself permission to disagree. Give

“My Brain Would Kill Me if It Didn’t Need the Transportation”

Thom’s Nutshell: “So much energy we spend wishing things to be different.There are always better uses of our time.” Anxiety is consistent, persistent and disciplined. I

Don't Stop Before You Even Start!

Thom’s Nutshell: “When you want something, do you begin with a commitment to make it happen or a list of reasons that it probably won't?" The mighty Carol Carter joins