Playing With Fire

254 How to Figure Out What You Want and Need: An Insider’s Experience of YOO

Figuring out what your wants and needs might sound simple, but it’s often… really not. To help you navigate this question, we’re bringing you a super special episode in

253 The Shadow of Compersion

Compersion – feeling joy for another person’s joy – is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to non-monogamy. But, like anything that’s bright and shiny, there’s a

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you'

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podca

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

To celebrate hitting 250 episodes of Playing With Fire, we’re diving deep into something we've been asked about constantly since our first episode on it over a year ago:

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a f

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

So you made the transition to non-monogamy… but you ended up feeling like you’re living two separate parallel lives in different relationships. This might not seem like t

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

People pleasing is not an effective strategy on the path to healthy, conscious relating. But adopting an approach towards autonomy that amounts to ‘I don’t owe anyone any

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

Chances are, if you know one thing about conscious relating, it’s that communication is key. And if you’re good at communicating in monogamous relationships, you might th

246 We Opened up Too Fast. What Do We Do Now?

The phrase "we opened up too fast" comes up a lot in the conversations we have with people who are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy. But what does "too fast" e

245 Check-Ins That Actually Work

Regular relationship check-ins might sound boring (maybe even like homework), but here's the thing: they're not just maintenance, they're the architecture that holds ever

244 But I Feel like I’m Gonna Die: What Happens When Agreements Meet Attachment Panic

You decided to practice conscious non-monogamous relating, so you made well-thought-out, enthusiastic relationship agreements that reflect your values. And THEN, your par

243 Making Decisions Together: Permission, Consultation, and Notification in Relationships

Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same frustrating conversations about decisions, even after you've gone through the agreement-making process? Us too!

242 Betrayal Repair in Non-Monogamy

Betrayal in non-monogamy can feel uniquely isolating. When you've already moved away from the traditional guardrails of monogamy—where exclusivity = safety and infidelity

241 Betrayal & Non-Monogamy with Eve Rickert

Betrayal isn’t a fun topic for anyone. But when it comes to non-monogamy, betrayal can actually be really hard to identify, because we often don’t have clear cultural scr

[Replay] 222 The Greater the Tension, the Greater the Potential: Individuating in Relationships

Have you ever felt totally torn between two seemingly incompatible desires? Like part of you wants the freedom of non-monogamy while another part longs for that "one and

240 The Alchemy of Erotic Jealousy & Compersion: A Reverse-Interview with Dr. Marie Thouin & Dr. Joli Hamilton

If you’ve ever been turned on by feelings of jealousy, you are so not alone. Dr. Marie Thouin wrote the book on compersion, so she’s the perfect person to join us to get

[Replay] 229 Shadow Work in Relationships: What We Keep From Ourselves

Secrets, privacy, and the journey to authentic relationships can be a complex terrain to navigate. When one partner keeps secrets—whether consciously or unconsciously—it

[Replay] 177 Shadow Dance: Navigating Projections in Relationships

The word projection gets thrown around a lot these days, often in an accusatory way (think, “so-and-so is projecting!”). But projection is actually a normal, unconscious

[Replay] 105 Shadow Work: What if your monsters were trying to help you live the life you always wanted?

Do your monsters sometimes stage a take-over, hurting you and others? If your monsters could help you live more of the life you want to live, would you get to know them,