Why do so many of us act our worst in relationships? How can we hold on to our liberatory values even when strong feelings are involved? For 25 years, Dean Spade has been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. In his new podcast, Love in a F*cked Up World, Dean and his guests offer concrete tools for building and sustaining strong relationships, because our connections to each other are the building blocks of our resistance.
Latest episodes
Showing 20 · updated from the feed
AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo on Confidentiality, Self Care, and Maintaining Friendships
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To kick off Season 2, Jessica Lanyadoo is back to answer more listener questions with Dean. In this episode, they respond to questions about confidenti
Sep 16 44 min
Love and Relationships Across Prison Walls (Part 1)
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Prisons are designed to isolate, break social ties, and destroy communities. Yet, people fight hard to keep relationships going across prison walls, an
May 28 52 min
Gossip
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Morgan Bassichis is back talking gossip with Dean. Why is it so hard to tell people things directly? Why is it so hard to keep things confidential? How
May 14 16 min
Resentment
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Tea kettle studies non-expert Morgan Bassichis is back with Dean to talk about resentment—how it can poison our enjoyment of the things we want and nee
Apr 30 24 min
Vicky Osterweil
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Vicky Osterweil, author of In Defense of Looting, joins Dean for a Trans Day of Visibility event organized by CLAGS (The Center for LGBTQ Studies at CU
Apr 16 1 h 16 min
Eli Clare
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Dean chats with his friend, the brilliant writer and activist Eli Clare, about his newest book, Unfurl, which Eli describes as a queer disabled love so
Apr 2 57 min
Benji Hart
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Dean sits down with friend and collaborator Benji Hart, a facilitator, educator, writer, and artist with years of experience in multiracial abolitionis
Mar 19 55 min
Am I Working Too Hard to Fix Myself?
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Morgan Bassichis is back with Dean to talk through a listener question about when self-improvement work is too rigorous and/or driven by shame. Morgan
Mar 5 33 min
Andrea Ritchie
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Dean is joined by longtime collaborator and dear friend Andrea Ritchie, author of Practicing New Worlds, Invisible No More, No More Police, and other e
Feb 19 1 h 04 min
Chani Nicholas
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Chani Nicholas, queer feminist astrologer and author of You Were Born for This, joins Dean to talk about how she got politicized, how we hold fear and
Feb 5 1 h 00 min
Green Dreamer
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Dean is excited to share an episode of the podcast Green Dreamer, hosted by kaméa chayne. Green Dreamer features thoughtful, engaging interviews with o
Jan 29 54 min
Peter Gelderloos
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Dean speaks (in person!) with Peter Gelderloos, whose work has profoundly shaped Dean’s political development since he first encountered How Nonviolenc
Jan 22 1 h 03 min
Holly Whitaker
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Dean sits down with Holly Whitaker, author of Quit Like a Woman and host of the Co-Regulation podcast to talk about Holly’s critical feminist analysis
Jan 8 54 min
Giving and Receiving Feedback
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In societies where we throw people away regularly, where carcerality is woven into the emotional fabric of all of our psyches and relationships, it can
Dec 24 2025 19 min
Shira Hassan
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Shira Hassan brings her brilliance and decades of experience in harm reduction, transformative justice, and self-help to this deep-dive conversation. W
Dec 10 2025 52 min
7 Steps for De-escalating a Crush
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Crushes can be fun and enlivening, but sometimes they are ill-timed or ill-suited, and it can be hard to shake them off. Morgan Bassichis is back to di
Nov 26 2025 18 min
AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo (Part 2)
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Jessica Lanyadoo is back with Dean for part two of this AMA, where they tackle more listener questions. They dive into everything from negotiating rela
Nov 12 2025 1 h 01 min
AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo (Part 1)
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Jessica Lanyadoo joins Dean for the first AMA episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. Jessica and Dean answer listener questions about how to navigate ou
Nov 5 2025 52 min
Kelly Hayes
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Kelly Hayes joins Dean Spade to talk about the relational work of movement building. In a critical moment in Chicago, Kelly and Dean talk about how to
Oct 22 2025 56 min
Weyam Ghadbian
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Weyam Ghadbian joins Dean Spade to talk about Dean's tool 7 Steps for Deescalating a Crush, how Weyam encouraged Dean to discuss the transformativ
Oct 15 2025 57 min
Chart trend
Position in the Relationships chart (US), last 90 days.
#1#101#200JunJulAugSep
#11
all-time peak
45
days in the top 50 since Jun 2025
Chart positions
Where Love in a F*cked Up World ranks today in each Apple Podcasts chart (US, Sep 20, 2026).
A curated, balanced selection of Apple Podcasts reviews.
Systems of domination, oppression, and sociopolitical control tell us that we are all individuals and that working together is futile. Thankfully, we have Dean Spade and his offerings, tools, and resources to negate that myth, nourish community, and show us that we are stronger together.
This podcast is an invaluable resource geared toward building community, solidarity across causes, and how our relationships, connections, and values are all intertwined.
Highly recommend, along with the rest of Dean’s nuanced, life-giving work in service of the resistance and beyond.
It’s not always easy, but a better world is worth working together to build — and resources like this podcast make our collective work easier, more accessible to a range of diverse identities, souls, and abilities while facilitating sustainability amidst the struggles.
usernamedotcom · Jul 2025
Competence is way to defeat hoplesssness. Dean Spade and these guests have been figuring out how we can help each other survive and are sharing their wisdom here. It’s not that deep but it does require deep humility and radical love. Fabulous podcast, brilliant minds!
08030Harry · Jun 2025
I’ve been following Dean Spade since his first book, Normal Life, and second book Mutual Aid, and this third book and podcast offers an unparalleled synthesis of how relational dynamics and skills are essential to the political and social transformation we seek to heal our world radically.
CalvinBeee · Jun 2025
So grateful that Dean Spade has entered the podcast realm. Wisdom, humor, and useful tools abound. This is a must listen.
LI5Gold · Jun 2025
We strive to present a balanced view by showing a diverse range of reviews from Apple Podcasts.
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Popular shows in Relationships, for your next listen.
Here you find the Apple Podcasts chart positions of Love in a F*cked Up World, its latest episodes to listen to directly, and reviews from listeners. Rankings are updated daily for the United States.
