Pillow Talks artwork

Sexuality · Vanessa & Xander Marin

Pillow Talks

by Vanessa & Xander Marin

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Chart trend

Position in the Sexuality chart (US), last 90 days.

#1
all-time peak
264
days in the top 3 since Nov 2024

Latest episodes

Showing 20 · updated from the feed

E277: How to Take Your Orgasm to the Next Level with the Four Orgasm Amplifiers

#3 trending · Sexuality

Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again. What if that w

Sep 10
52 min

E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years)

#48 trending · Sexuality

At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort. So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other fart and flo

Sep 3
49 min

E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers

It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee. In this e

Aug 27
50 min

E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This

We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten y

Aug 20
1 h 06 min

E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood

This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up

Aug 13
1 h 00 min

E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off

It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences, fantasies, the deat

Aug 6
57 min

E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed

You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list. We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop controlling, lo

Jul 30
50 min

E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates

We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners. This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent relationship

Jul 23
56 min

E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs

Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀 We asked o

Jul 16
1 h 01 min

E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments

It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions! This one really pulls back the curtain on us

Jul 9
1 h 06 min

E267: The Hygiene Episode

Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that? This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex questions one by

Jul 2
55 min

E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-

Jun 25
1 h 00 min

E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated. We're

Jun 18
56 min

E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, n

Jun 11
1 h 05 min

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for

Jun 4
56 min

E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close

May 28
1 h 07 min

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practi

May 21
58 min

E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea

May 14
1 h 05 min

E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we asked our com

May 7
1 h 03 min

E258: Weed, Alcohol, and Sex: What's Actually Happening to Your Body and Desire

Whether it's a glass of wine to take the edge off or a gummy to get out of your head, a lot of people use substances to feel more relaxed, more connected, or more in the

Apr 30
1 h 04 min

Chart positions

Where Pillow Talks ranks today in each Apple Podcasts chart (US, Sep 13, 2026).

#74 ▼ 7 Health & Fitness US
#7 ▼ 2 Sexuality US

What listeners say

A curated, balanced selection of Apple Podcasts reviews.

Ageless & honest info delivered in a serious manner with a touch of humor. Do yourself a favor and listen with your spouse or significant other - no matter your age, you will learn something.

bee.k. · Aug 2026

Love this show! I listen myself and with my partner. It is hugely validating and so informative! Their dynamic on the show is fun and really cover a variety of hard to talk about topics with ease and approachability. Has improved our relationship in and out of the bedroom!

Daniiidee · Aug 2026

Me and my wife weren’t having much time together physically but then I listened to scheduling sex. It was a game changer now we are consistently having sex 2-3 times a week. It’s really not awkward and gives you something to look forward to all day long at work!

scw29 · Aug 2026

Vanessa and Xander do a most excellent job in highlighting some of the more common relationship struggles that are found out there with their own unique brand of wisdom and levity! Thank you both for asking the questions and discussing the topics we’re often too scared or too shy to do on our own!

MikeyMaddz · Aug 2026

I came into this therapy-focused podcast intrigued by its promise of approachable, relatable conversations around creating a health relationship - led by a couple who claim to be the kind of people you’d “want to grab sushi with.” Unfortunately, that charm never really came through for me. Xander, billed as the “regular dude,” doesn’t quite fit that label. He frequently dominates the dialogue, often cutting off Vanessa mid-thought. It’s frustrating, especially since Vanessa is clearly the one with the clinical expertise and real insight. When she does manage to get a word in, her commentary is thoughtful and grounded—but it’s hard not to feel like she’s fighting for airtime on her own show. Xander’s tendency to steer the conversation back to himself makes the episodes feel more like a platform for his musings than a true exchange of ideas. It’s disappointing, particularly for listeners hoping to get genuine, informed advice on relationships and mental wellness. If the dynamic were more balanced—if Vanessa had the space to truly lead—this could be a very different podcast. But as it stands, it falls short of both its therapeutic promise and its casual charm.

Shea Te’o · May 2025

So much giggling and filler talk. The actual content is good but you have to fast forward quite a bit to get to it.

bbazbbaz · May 2025

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Here you find the Apple Podcasts chart positions of Pillow Talks, its latest episodes to listen to directly, and reviews from listeners. Rankings are updated daily for the United States.

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