But I'm Still A Good Person by Vince Nicholas

That waiter did not deserve a 20% tip

also: in-n-out fries well done SHOULD BE THE DEFAULT

"Mom, I want you to die here; and I want to die here."

also: Officer Indifferent, we broke & we entered and Grandma Thien's negotiation skills were on full display.

I was forced to hug a realtor & Lying about restaurant reservations (Grandma Thien's Visit Part I)

also: my mom wouldn't give me her bank login info via text message- she would only tell it to me over the telephone

I set out to lose 20 lbs in a month - I lost 21 in 3 weeks

best things about losing weight: less pooping & less man boob jiggle

FAST FOOD CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE THE BIGGEST RIPOFF

also: we got a free $14 froyo, potato chips are better than tortilla chips, re-rack your weights, don't split open your english muffin with a knife & let the pollo shine

I am part of the sediment, off-off brand Oreos & Big day in vacuuming land today

also: i watched the doc Boy Band Confidential

The Merging of the Condiments (a test every marriage must pass)

also: i accidentally hearted a text

We're in a cult I mean We're Costco members.

The #1 perk of joining Costco is you get to participate in discussions at work about Costco.

How long does ice in a cooler stay icey? (Layer that cooler like a lasagna.)

We celebrated Alan Fisher's 70th birthday with drinks, trivia & police sirens.

Mr. Miyagi sandwich & male Hawk Tuah

also, i watched episode 2 of Lanterns

Carolyn thinks it's gross I sneezed into the sink & Big LandLord

also: i made a Staind reference in a work email

Well-done roses (i bought Carolyn discounted flowers)

also: Carolyn quit our condo's Lil' Library, Frankie got a new scratcher & Grandma Thien deemed Costco stuffed peppers as reckless spending.

ANY OF Y'ALL GOT A PROBLEM WITH OTIS REDDING?!?! (ive begun listening to music at work)

We’d be rollin' deep in her 1979 AMC spirit!

Best movie of the year (yes I know it's late August) is The Invite bcuz it's a little too relatable

stuff comes up in this movie you don't talk about as a married couple!!

I rebuke the algorithm! (ive been off the socialz for a whole week)

should we ban phones at the dinner table?

Rest In Power, Smokey!

Her name is Dorothy Rose (Miller) Cumings

The ants are gonna miss Mister Crumb, I dumpster dove & the foam brush is a scam

I expected more from a company named Monster I really did.

My FOMO went away instantly

I'm off the grid & the dopamine hits r gone

Everyone hates their job & The Indifference of the American Teenager

and like, wtf is ranch?

Your dog is not allowed in the pool

also, a pile of trash was left outside for 6 days