Relationships Made Easy

398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix)

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressiv

398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix)

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressiv

397. Whose Voice Is Your Inner Critic, Really?

Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem

396. The Mental Load: Why Helping Doesn’t Help

You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is t

395. Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child or Mascot: Which One Were You?

Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours. _______________

394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love

You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then

393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way)

You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like

392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?

You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more

391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?

Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous syst

390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags

Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look

389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought

You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first.

388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship

That's not fair. You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on th

387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner

If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is

386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems

You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answe

385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says

If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so perso

384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.

There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel g

383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell

Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe yo

382. Why You Can’t Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

You’ve tried unfollowing people, making gratitude lists, staying in your own lane. And you still compare yourself to others. So what gives? You can’t stop comparing becau

381. Why You Shut Off Your Feelings (And Why It's Catching Up With You)

You're doing fine. Really. You've got work handled, the relationship seems okay, you've moved on from that fight or that disappointment, and you're not thinking about it

380. The 7 Childhood Experiences That Shape Every Relationship You'll Ever Have

You probably know what an ACE is. Adverse Childhood Experience. Trauma, instability, the things that happened to you that you didn't deserve and couldn't control. Researc