The Save The Marriage Podcast

This Question Can Wreck a Marriage

There are some questions that can help a marriage.  There are many thoughts that can improve your relationship. But there is one question that will suck the life right o

Anxiety-Anger Anchor

Do you find yourself and/or your spouse anchored to a problem by anxiety or anger?  Guess what? Anger and Anxiety -- they come from the same space!  One is the inner, the

The Marriage Saving ARC

Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving marriages to thriving.  In reality, there is no shift. My System on sa

“Earning” Love? Not the Goal…

Sometimes, people tell me that as they are trying to save their marriage, they actually feel like they are trying to earn back the love of a spouse.  They want to know if

Swiss Cheese and a Marriage Crisis

It may be an odd preoccupation, but I pour over the scuba accident reports.  I like to see how the accidents happened, what led to the accident, and how it might have bee

How to Deal with Negativity

It happens.  In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity.  A spouse negative about the marriage.  Friends and family negative about

“What Does It Matter” pt. 1

I get asked this on a regular basis, both from people who are in the middle of wanting to save their marriage, and those who are wanting to leave.  This is what I get ask

Stop Your Blow-up

Slowly, slowly... you are making progress!  You keep working on turning your marriage around... and it is working! Maybe you think it isn't moving fast enough.  Or maybe

Stop Fishing!

You may just be on a fishing expedition, and not even realize it! If you are trying to get your spouse to respond, trying to get some feedback from your spouse, you are

Right Thing vs. Right Way

Today, I tackle a pretty sensitive subject:  the difference between "Doing The Right Thing" and "Doing It Right." Let me be very clear:  I believe that working to save y

Space vs. Connection??

It is such a common demand from a spouse during a marital crisis:  “I need space!  You just need to give me space!” Yet here I am, telling you to connect with your spous

For When Marriage Gets Hard

“Why is marriage so hard?” That is a question I often hear from struggling couples. What happened?  All of that love, all the connection, seems to disappear, to be repla

Apology ==> Reconciling

You have already journeyed to here.  Maybe your relationship is hurting and in pain.  Maybe your connection has gone cold.  But however you got here, whatever the path, y

Rejection…Protection…Perception!

You are working on your marriage.  You reach out toward your spouse. . . only to feel rejected. After that stops you in your tracks.  You start doubting yourself, your e

Are You Fighting for Connection?

“Should I even keep fighting for my marriage?”, asks “G.” Oof, that word… “fighting.”  I hear it often.  But so many times, when someone says they are “fighting for” the

Four Fails to Saving Your Marriage

First, let me be clear:  if you are actively saving your marriage, working toward a better relationship... stop reading and go do something else!  This won't apply to you

What Stage is the Crisis?

In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis. But those are the stages of the crisis.  There are also stages to you

Marriage In The Kettle

You've heard the story about the frog and the kettle. It's the slowly heating water that sneaks up on the frog before it can react. Turns out, frogs are smarter than tha

Having Hope vs. Building Hope

Most people wait for hope to show up. They treat it like weather — something that either arrives or doesn't, something outside their control. And when it doesn't show up

When You Failed Therapy (Or Therapy Failed YOU)

She did everything right. When her marriage hit a crisis, she and her husband went to therapy. They showed up every week. They stayed with it for months. They did what yo