Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Latest episodes

Showing 20 · updated from the feed

413: Reviews of Board Games

Five very impressive large molded dolphins. We have one last stop on our tour... Nashville!! Buy tickets at beachtoosandy.com Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70

Oct 28
1 h 00 min

412: Reviews of Ant Farms

I'm going to bury you with your comrades. We're on tour! Get your tickets for our remaining Louisville & Nashville shows at beachtoosandy.com Go to homechef.com/beacht

Oct 21
1 h 10 min

411: Reviews of Olive Garden

Does your eggplant come with skin? Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter pro

Oct 14
39 min

410: Reviews of Bookstores with Lauren Kilby and Karen Whitehouse

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear. Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit who

Oct 7
1 h 09 min

409: Reviews of Coffee Creamers

A belly full of white dog turds. Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH. “Treat

Sep 30
51 min

408: Reviews of Froyo with Michelle Collins

I hate when they put wang in my food. Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins Show We're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosa

Sep 23
52 min

407: Reviews of Deodorant

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-n

Sep 16
38 min

406: Reviews of Novelty Ice

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sep 9
36 min

405: Reviews of Mini Golf

Just a bunch of angry elves. Support Smoking Werewolf Productions here: https://gofund.me/5766bf50d See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva

Sep 2
49 min

404: Reviews of Tiki Bars in Hong Kong (Patreon Re-Release)

R-r-r-r-remix See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aug 26
38 min

403: Reviews of The Container Store

Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.

Aug 19
34 min

402: Reviews of Toothpaste with Roz Hernandez

Even Kazoo people use toothpaste. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aug 12
47 min

401: Reviews of Fitness Trackers

Two people wanted to vomit and no one did. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info

Aug 5
46 min

400: Reviews of Summer Camps

If they don't care about ducks, they don't care about you either. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/priv

Jul 29
56 min

399: Reviews of Running Shoes

How do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-no

Jul 22
47 min

398: Reviews of Diners with Jessie "Jetski" Johnson

A cucumber is not an avocado. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jul 15
59 min

397: Reviews of Lululemon

Statistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#d

Jul 8
51 min

396: Reviews of Energy Drinks

This stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com

Jul 1
58 min

395: Reviews of Bath & Body Works

Nothing about carrots makes me think bougie See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-inf

Jun 24
58 min

394: Reviews of Raising Cane's

Soggy White Bread was my nickname in high school. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-

Jun 17
50 min

Chart trend

Position in the Comedy chart (US), last 90 days.

#1#100#198JulAugSepOct

#84

all-time peak

days in the top 100 since Nov 2024

Chart positions

Where Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet ranks today in each Apple Podcasts chart (US, Oct 29, 2026).

#181 ▼ 19 Comedy US

What listeners say

A curated, balanced selection of Apple Podcasts reviews.

At one point they spent ten minutes analyzing a furious review about a garden gnome “judging people spiritually,” and I was laughing so hard I had to pause the video. Their sibling chemistry is the real secret sauce. You can tell they’ve been annoying each other since childhood and somehow converted it into an art form. The only downside is I now read every bad review online in their voices. Five stars for comedy. One star for what they’ve done to my ability to shop in peace.

Lilee637 · Jun 2026

I look forward to this podcast every week! Xtine and Xandy always make me laugh, reading people’s ridiculous reviews.

Summer's Mama · May 2026

I feel like this podcast has re-wired my brain to be more positive. I want to share positivity and positive reviews everywhere I go. Thanks Schiefer Sibs!

Shaestershae · Jan 2026

Leaving my original review below to stay true to my word. I have listened to every episode now, and adore this podcast. I feel like Xandy was going through some stuff when I first started, and I’m glad I kept on. The sibling bickering and back and forth is perfect, their random stories are wholesome, and seeing how the reviews have evolved over time has been really cool to see, even if it was backwards at the time. The reviews are chaotic and I’m so happy to hear them on a weekly basis now. Keep it up guys. Original review: I came over and listened because of Xtine and ATWWD. I’m very on the fence about Xandy. Some days I feel he is extremely pretentious and clueless about his privilege/upbringing, and others I actually like him and think he’s funny. The content is solid (assuming they’re sober), and I’ve mostly enjoyed the episodes I’ve listened to (working my way backwards). My biggest complaints are about the editing. The number of times there’s just dead air before anyone starts talking is too often for a single episode. I’ve also experienced a lot of repeated content (it sort of loops back on itself). As of now, I’ll keep listening, mainly because the reviews seem to o dictate that their oldest stuff is way better, so I’m hoping I’ll like that more.

Amartbetan · Dec 2024

We strive to present a balanced view by showing a diverse range of reviews from Apple Podcasts.