Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on "Where Should We Begin" and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more, visit our Office Hours section.
Latest episodes
Showing 20 · updated from the feed
Can I Still Be a Good Man if I Leave?
After decades together, he wonders whether he can stay in a marriage where intimacy and connection has all but disappeared. He's touch-starved and lonely and questioning
Oct 19 59 min
I Want You To Want Me
Couples often struggle with gaps in their sex drives, but what does a couple do when one person has no desire for sex whatsoever? A married couple comes to Esther with th
Oct 12 53 min
I Don't Mean to Be Mean, But...
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explos
Oct 5 1 h 06 min
My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our Kids
After the end of a fifteen-year marriage, she is trying to make sense of something she never imagined would become part of her family's story: her ex-husband's love affai
Sep 28 53 min
Good Relationships Need Better Fights
Conflict is not toxic or immoral. In fact, it's generative and the lifeblood of our relationships. It isn't something to avoid. It matters, and it can even bring us close
Sep 21 58 min
How Many Times Can You Betray Me?
A married couple arrives at Esther’s office hoping to recover from a devastating rupture with his mother after the birth of their first child. But immediately their sessi
Sep 14 54 min
On Again/Off Again
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They've been on and off for almost 20 years. While she takes care of his and their child, she wants to know that he's
Aug 31 53 min
Will I Always Be Alone?
He comes to Esther not with a singular question but with an overflow of words and unspoken truths. Betrayed by a once-supportive church and struggling to reconcile his de
Aug 24 49 min
Can I Be Loved?
A young woman writes to Esther asking why she is interested in someone emotionally unavailable. Despite efforts to break this pattern, she realizes that some of her behav
Aug 17 37 min
Am I Being Gaslit?
In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gasli
Aug 10 36 min
I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex?
What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction? After returning to the Philippines to reco
Aug 3 50 min
Burdens of the Family
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now they're t
Jul 27 42 min
Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship?
She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds hersel
Jul 20 52 min
You Slept With My Best Friend
The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children. She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husban
Jul 13 54 min
My Hero Complex
When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps
Jun 29 40 min
20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in Captivity
This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world.
Recorded live at
Jun 22 44 min
In This Relationship What Is "I" and What is "We"?
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and se
Jun 15 46 min
Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You?
Twin brothers come to Esther with a shared question: how do they break free from the conflict that has shaped their relationship for years? One feels smothered, the other
Jun 8 51 min
Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill
A recent session was a threshold moment for Esther where she found herself doing couples therapy with a man and his AI companion. To explore the questions it raised, Esth
Jun 1 49 min
To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to Disappear
With her wedding just weeks away, a young woman calls Esther with a question she’s been carrying for most of her life: how do you allow yourself joy when you’ve learned t
May 18 55 min
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#1#41#80JulAugSepOct
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all-time peak
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days in the top 10 since Nov 2024
Chart positions
Where Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ranks today in each Apple Podcasts chart (US, Oct 25, 2026).
A curated, balanced selection of Apple Podcasts reviews.
Esther is very knowledgeable and understanding with each client. She’s truly amazing and accomplishes a lot in a short amount of time. You can tell how naturally it comes to her due to experience and expertise. I always learn something from each episode I listen to and get a little emotional, connecting to either what the client or Esther says. I’m so interested in human behavior and how our brains work, and always looking to grow as a better person. Thank you for all you do, Esther! Truly enjoy this podcast and hoping I get the privilege to be on an episode one day.
lovetherealbogglegame · Aug 2026
I love this show and I’m compelled to leave a review after hearing the feedback on the episode “I gave him an ultimatum..” I felt that Esther was dead on in her advice to the woman in the relationship. I got the feeling that this guy is manipulative and she is very susceptible. Esther made insights that made him uncomfortable because he is used to everyone believing him and she saw easily through his lies and the way he kept trying to change the conversation to center himself as the victim. At the end of the session, it seemed like the woman wasn’t happy but was beginning to break through. It’s likely that he later “ended” the other relationships (or told her he did), as a big show only days after the session . It’s no surprise that he’d been “working on it” for years but only took this step when he felt himself losing control over her. I would guess he also worked to influence his partner’s perception of the session, and this was the reason for the tone of her feedback. All of this as well as the woman’s description of the relationship, which felt more like love bombing than a healthy dynamic, leads me to believe that this guy is toxic and she is falling for it. I think Esther picked up on his shady tactics and he didn’t like it. I appreciate Esther’s commitment to self evaluating, but I also think that just because someone doesn’t like what is said in therapy, doesn’t mean it was wrong or shouldn’t have been said. It may be that she thinks back to this session while he continues to mistreat and lie to her for the next five years, before she finally realizes the insight here.
JaxRenee11 · Jun 2026
Somehow I see myself in most episodes and learn a little bit more about how to approach X or Y or what may lie beneath it. A podcast sharing very insightful, realistic and human experiences. Thank you, Esther!
Sailing Kame · Jun 2026
I always learn so much from every episode, even the ones I don’t think I will have much in common with. It goes to show you how similar we all are and how everything comes back to our relationships and connections with others. Esther is one of the smartest people out there!
Prof.Yoda · Apr 2026
I am specifically writing about The Arc of Love episode. I feel that her advice was extremely careless and reckless. It IS possible to have an amicable divorce and share holidays, etc. together as a couple creates a community of compassion and love around them and the child. It saddened me to hear her suggest they stay married, rather than understand why they are as close as they are; codependency, emotional and sexual neglect, love addictive tendencies, control issues. There is a reason the wife wanted the divorce and to suggest they stay together was very reckless without digging in deeper to their core issues before that comment. Marriage doesn’t fix people.
Me1037 · Aug 2024
I’ve listened to three non-special guest episodes and have to say a big red flag for me is when a host does more talking than listening. She is very quick to put words in her guests mouths and makes assumptions about why they feel or act a certain way. It could be that the sessions are edited down to only sound bytes that allow her to give her opinion, because it feels like they are missing a lot of context. It almost feels more exploitative that useful. If you prefer a more patient-guided conversation as well as helpful tips and advice that can be applied to listeners in various situations, not just the caller, I would highly recommend “Dear Therapists.”
Wjc8501 · Apr 2024
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