Welcome To Patchwork

Patch #167 - Do You Dry Your Hands After You Wash Them?

You buy dinner for the table. You also, unprompted, buy everyone a drink. When the "what do we owe you?" messages start arriving that night, are the drinks part of the bi

Patch #166 - Should You Always Tip A Busker?

You find a phone on the footpath. You're fairly sure you know whose it is, you're fairly sure they're already long gone, and you've got a sandwich that isn't getting any

Patch #165 - Do You Pump Your Tyres Before A Long Drive?

Do you pump your tyres before a long drive? Josh does - two and a half hours out of town and the mental checklist kicks in, windscreen wipers included. Christian has owne

Patch #164 - Do You Confidently Sing Along To Songs?

How long can you refrain from opening a package delivered to your house? Josh managed several hours and a car trip, which Dion considers admirable restraint and Christian

Patch #163 - Do People Think You Look Your Age?

Do people think you look your age? Christian's been forced to find out the hard way after a shaving mishap wipes out an entire winter's worth of beard growth in one accid

Patch #162 - Are You Obliged To Visit A Friend's New Home?

Would you eat a piece of gum that's been rattling loose in your pocket for a week? Dion has strong feelings on the matter, plus a backstory involving bulk-buying half a k

Patch #161 - Do You Deserve Credit For Organising A Group Gift?

Josh admits he doesn't know his grandfather's name. Doesn't know when he was born, doesn't know where he lived. Is that fair enough, or is it something he should know? Mo

Patch #160 - Do You Trust a Warning Sign?

Are you a rule follower, or is a warning sign more of a suggestion? Josh finds himself stuck behind a temporary fence on a coastal walk while everyone in front of him jus

Patch #159 - Do You Prefer To Sit Next To, Or Opposite Someone?

Dion ordered himself something at Hungry Jack's by tacking it onto Josh's order, and Josh has been holding onto the receipt ever since. The boys try to work out whether t

Patch #158 - Is A 'Maybe' RSVP Actually A 'No'?

Josh has run the numbers on his 40th RSVPs and discovers what every host secretly suspects: a "maybe" is a "no", a non-reply is a "no", and even the yeses can't be truste

Patch #157 - If You Drop A Chopstick, Should You Ask For A New One?

Josh drops a chopstick at a restaurant and, without thinking, flags down the waiter for a new one. Dion and Christian are baffled. To them, you pick it up, you wipe it, a

Patch #156 - Can You Uninvite A 'Plus One'?

If someone offers you a hot cross bun and it arrives without fruit, have you been deceived? Christian thinks his mum needs to manage expectations better. Josh argues hot

Patch #155 - Should You Eat A Bad Sandwich Out Of Politeness?

If you take a sandwich from a shared platter and discover you hate it, are you allowed to throw it out, or are you obligated to keep eating? Josh found himself in this ex

Patch #154 - Should a Gift Voucher Cover the Entire Gift?

Should you accept a "congrats" for buying a house? What about moving into a rental? The boys try to work out where the line sits between earned achievement and a windfall

Patch #153 - Does Listening to a Book Count?

Christian notices that some of the old European men in his neighbourhood have netted their fruit trees - but left others completely uncovered. Does that mean the uncovere

Patch #152 - Is Sewing A Button A Basic Skill?

Why won't Josh commit to an arrival time? When he says "I'm 25 minutes away," is that best practice or is it just forcing everyone else to do maths? And at what point doe

Patch #151 - Where Do You Wait For Friends Outside The Toilets?

We're back! After 160 days away, a refreshed studio, and some very big life updates, we ease back into the important stuff - like underwear. Josh is staring down the barr

Patch #150 Livestream - Is This How You Celebrate 150 Episodes?

After eight years, 150 episodes and approximately one and a half Bibles worth of words, Christian, Dion and Josh gather to celebrate the tangled quilt they’ve been slowly

Patch #149 – Do You Know How Loudly You Chew?

We begin with Josh’s so-called “worst idea ever”: a heated debate about monitor timeout settings that morphs into a discussion about energy saving, screen burn, and wheth

Patch #148 - Do You Panic When A Ball Rolls Your Way?

With Dion back on the mic, we begin by questioning his curious choice to take place his call in another room but on speaker. This quickly turns into a debate about phone