WarHams - Narrative Declaration

WarHams – Ep. 20 – The Throne Room

Golden doors open to Hallelujah. A chaos spawn fused to the captain's throne reads their souls aloud and nearly kills the crew before Pi Brain's overcharged plasma gun bl

WarHams – Ep. 19 – They Boarded

Possessed crewmen flood every corridor. Cherub swarms choke the maglev tracks. Lorne's psychic scream pops every baby head in twenty-five meters -- buying just enough tim

WarHams – Ep. 18 – Holiness is Cleanliness

A rival Rogue Trader won't even let Zedek speak to her -- cruiser-class ships outrank manners. The crew talks their way aboard the derelict Carillon instead, where thousa

WarHams – Ep. 17 – Death Cult

Death cult assassins are minutes from poisoning an entire hive city's water supply. Pi Brain hacks a severed servitor head for moral support, Reeb kicks an assassin into

WarHams – Ep. 16 – Croikey

Something is poisoning the water supply of Fimbria Majoris, and the cult that stole the evidence just slit the throat of the only official who knew. The crew splits up to

WarHams – Ep. 15 – The Laughter of Thirsting Closets

Season two. New mission, new system, same haunted wardrobe. The Inquisition is under review, a rival Rogue Trader dynasty already owns the territory, and the Primarchs ar

WarHams – Ep. 14 – Space Pirates

Drukhari loose in the dark. Splinter rounds in every wall. A pirate shanty echoing down the corridors. The crew fights through a prison station with nothing but a Skitari

WarHams – Ep. 13 – Prison Changes a Man

The cathedral is a broom closet. The preacher is a brainwashed Lemurian. The prison's luckiest man just got punched into his own funeral pyre. Chonkus clears the riot, Ze

WarHams – Ep. 12 – Pi Hard

The crew wakes up in cells. No weapons, no warrant of trade, no proof anyone is who they say they are — and the warden wants his family jewels back. Reeb befriends an ogr

WarHams – Ep. 11 – ATTENTION CITIZENS!

De Fuckerby's trail leads to an orbital prison ruled by a man who speaks about himself in the third person as "de Raoul" and just shot his own arbitrator for a clerical e

WarHams – Ep. 10 – The Cursed Episode

A warp storm won't stop following the Debt Collector. Gravity inverts, Lorne's beard tries to strangle him, and the navigator says something on board is feeding it. Three

WarHams – Ep. 9 – Black Stone

A thousand meters down, inside a xenos labyrinth where chronometers give dates that haven't happened yet, the walls are made of scarabs and a tomb spider guards a cube th

WarHams – Ep. 8 – Times Are Great

Dead world. Ocean planet. One island wrapped in fog where everyone smiles too wide, the beer pours free from a Skitarii's mouth, and the administrator has two hundred yea

WarHams – Ep. 7 – Tax Day

Captain Caldeas rides a pushcart. Ten thousand years of unpaid tithes come due at the end of a flamer, a molten beam, and a Fenrisian psyker catching macro shells mid-fli

WarHams – Ep. 6 – The Song Halls

The moon outpost is a sound-research facility. The servitors only answer if you sing to them. The walls are lined with acoustic foam and bolter-splattered corpses in sea-

WarHams – Ep. 5 – Roll Medicae on a Wall

Fathom 4's tithe is logged. Next stop: Scargaris Prime, a salt-flat hive world that hasn't paid taxes in ten thousand years. Lady Abathia Rubania greets them wearing a ba

WarHams – Ep. 4 – Septic Maintenance

Warp transit. The Debt Collector stinks. Belba says it's an excremental — a warp-touched sewer horror — and the Captain's already-lost three janitor crews to it. Introduc

WarHams – Ep. 3 – Ratling Extravaganza

Insurrection on Fathom 4. A mob of salt-shaker-wielding ratling cannibals chase the party across the capital while Lorne crushes three of them into a psychic meatball and

WarHams – Ep. 2 – The Divine Lords

Belba Creepfoot peels off her disguise and leads the party into the capital's underground, where three "Divine Lords" — Fervor, Science, and War — have been bleeding the

WarHams – Ep. 1 – Meat Place Alpha

A Rogue Trader, a Skitarii, an Inquisitorial acolyte, and a Fenrisian psyker get dumped onto Fathom 4 to recover a missing embassy and strong-arm a tithe. The locals are