Comedy Fiction · Matt Brookens

Illinois Hell Hole

by Matt Brookens

"A 'movie for your ears,' with immersive soundscapes, music and the kind ofengaging performances that would be at home in a big-budget theatricalrelease." — Illinois TimesHORROR COMEDY | FULL-CAST AUDIO DRAMA | NEW EPISODES EVERY SATURDAY THROUGH OCTOBER 24 — START WITH EPISODE 1A snarky, entitled emo musician inherits his parents' farm and discovers abottomless pit that grants wishes — but only when suckers are chucked in. Nowhis WILDEST DREAMS are just a few "accidents" away.Today, Ned Fischer's precious little life pretty much crapped the bed: Dumped by his girl, booted from Mothers of Misery, and let go by his boss who is a "Dickless dick." "Could this day get any worse?," he moans. RING RING. – Mom and Dad's plane went down. No survivors. Everything is upside down. Back in the Midwest to settle his affairs (ugh), he finds a liminal creepy farmhouse, a cousin with golden retriever energy, oh... and a BOTTOMLESS PIT to HELL in the middle of the corn field! At least drinks are cheap at The Busted Bottle.Things go from bad to PLEASE STOP. After a freak "accident" involving the hole, (YIKES) a dark wish comes true. That's when an old-timey stranger in a vintage suit turns up with advice Ned didn't ask for. Ned rekindles some sparks with his old crush, Lenore... who just happens to have a boyfriend the size of a tank. Drowning in sorrows and not afraid to tell everyone, Ned turns to the town psychic. Moonglow doesn't have enough sage to ward off this Emo boy's DEMONS... which are freaking REAL and stalking him at night. Can atheists go to hell? Ned's probably going to find out.Darkly funny and viciously satirical, ILLINOIS HELL HOLE is a supernaturalfable about ego, and the price of getting something for nothing.Nine episodes. Full cast. Immersive soundscapes. Best on headphones."This is in my top 10 audio dramas. It's such a good story, you will not beable to put it down." — Dylan from Horror.KultFor fans of What We Do in the Shadows, Beetlejuice, Tucker & Dale vs Evil,Army of Darkness, and The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror.Originally broadcast on NPR Illinois 91.9 FM.Contains strong language and occasional violence.CAST & CREWWritten and directed by Matt BrookensCorey Burton — Narrator (Count Dooku from Star Wars, Transformers, Disney)Daran Norris — Rabin (The Fairly OddParents, Team America)Matt Brookens — NedReggie Guyton — MooseMeghan M. McDonough — Lenore (The Ice Harvest)Keith Compton — RuckerKassandra Escandell — MoonglowJohn LaFlamboy — Bill / Satan (Hell's Gate Haunted House)Nitin Sil — Hortense Goodbody (Flashpoint History)Maria Libri — SherylDoug Lussenhop — Gary (Tim & Eric, Office Hours)Jeska Bailey Forsyth — Sheena / BuellaGuy Forsyth — Roberto / FredMindy Turano — Mother / Macy / NoraJeff Williams — Bathrobe Guy / DriverPatrick Russell — Ned's Dad / BankerGina DeCroix Russell — Ned's Mom / WendyBrian Magrum — Sound MixerAdam Kunselman — Editorillinoishellhole.com