Abject Suffering

Abject Suffering 687: Dream T.V.

Dream TV is a game so obscure that even we have never heard of it, with a premise that was stale when they made it. Two kids are sucked into the TV! Ah! And the platformi

[PREVIEW] Abject Suffering 686: Shrek Super Party

Who would have guessed that this comedy podcast episode nominally about a Shrek party game would have turned into a sober rumination on body image issues? This is a prem

Abject Suffering 685: Sonic R

You might be surprised to learn that we don’t hate Sonic R. It controls awkwardly and was clearly rushed out the door, but the idea of a Sonic racing game isn’t inherentl

Abject Suffering 684: Catz

Ubisoft looked at Nintendogs and decided “hey, we could mess that up.” The result was the Petz series, where you adopt an animal and train it to fight for you, but not in

Abject Suffering 683: Shinobi

Shinobi for the PlayStation 2 isn’t a bad game. In fact, Kaye knows that she’s bringing a backdoor WOFF! pick to the show. However, it’s janky and it’s overly difficult b

Abject Suffering 682: Road Rash 64

Road Rash is a weird series because it was once very popular, and now you don’t hear about it. At all. And even the worst version of it, the hideous N64 game, isn’t all t

Abject Suffering 681: Magic Boy

Magic Boy is another stilted puzzle platformer with that Amiga stink on it. You are some kind of magical boy, and it’s up to you to stun and basement escaped magical anim

Abject Suffering 680: Minute to Win It

In the DS/Wii/Kinect shovelware bonanza, nothing was off limits, including a Guy Fieri show that was just "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" for dummies. Featuring finicky

Abject Suffering 679: Super Morph

Super Morph is a PAL-only puzzle platformer that’s actually pretty neat. A young boy’s neglectful uncle put him into a matter transporter, and now the boy is trapped in f

Abject Suffering 678: Scooby-Doo Night of 100 Frights!

Some intellectual properties are like PFAS. Once introduced to the environment, they will never go away, just sitting and warping whatever they touch. The Hannah-Barbera

Abject Suffering 677: Pong: The Next Level

They made a fun Pong game for the PlayStation. ANYWAY, did you know that we both got Covid-19 in Las Vegas? Let’s rank the symptoms!

Abject Suffering 676: DJ Boy

DJ Boy is a beat-em-up on roller skates. Roller blades? No, skates. The most hip-hop conveyance imaginable. That’s because this is a game steeped in a very removed Japane

Abject Suffering 675: Balan Wonderworld

Balan Wonderworld is so infamous that sometimes you wonder if it could actually ever be that bad. Chat, it’s very bad. It ranks right behind chronically mistreating his w

Abject Suffering 674: Whiplash

Portal didn’t invent the story about the banal cruelty of corporate super science, but it sure did it better than Whiplash. You play a weasel who has a rabbit chained to

Abject Suffering 673: Flix and Chill 2 Millennials

We understand why you all voted for Flix and Chill 2: Millennials in our episode poll. Look at that title. Little did you know that it’s also a viciously uninteresting ad

Abject Suffering 672: Powerpuff Girls: Bad Mojo Jojo (GBC)

The Powerpuff Girls was a fine cartoon. It hit a lot of people at the right age, and its groovy 90s aesthetic was instantly iconic. So it probably deserved a better game

Abject Suffering 671: Riddick Bowe Boxing

Riddick Bowe Boxing, known as “Chavez” in some regions, is actually a very good boxing game for the Super Nintendo. So we return to the old topics of boxing in general, h

Abject Suffering 670: Rugrats: Time Travelers

Everyone knows the Rugrats, the hideous Nickelodeon babies who taught us about Passover. Well, they also traveled through time, at least on the GameBoy. And it didn’t tur

Abject Suffering 669: Space Jam

Everybody get up, it’s time to talk about the Space Jam video game now. And it’s just a weak NBA Jam byproduct, with zero cartoony wackiness to be found. We also talk abo

Abject Suffering 668: Phix: The Adventure

Phix is a furby who got magnet powers, and this entire game is an exploration of how to execute on that premise as sorely as possible. But one of the bosses is a big titt